a.k.a. baby steps to take in the glorious liberty of knowing I am Abba's dearest baby girl and that He enables what He commands, bids me fly, and gives me wings. May his perfection and patience be revealed in my limping.
Now persuaded that I am thoroughly ineffectual, and often content to be, without the Spirit of power and self-discipline that He gives, I desperately entreat God by His grace to raise up in me a godly and effective woman of resolve as much as it agrees to His will for Christ's sake.
Remember to read these over every solstice and equinox.
1. Resolved, each day I wake, to meet the Lord in prayer, thanking Him for mercy and strength and life, asking what He requires of me for the day at hand, and submitting what I think is good to His wise purposes of just action, humble discipleship, and charity (Micah 6:8). 6 Feb 2009
2. Resolved, to daily pray and hunger for daily bread--the Holy Spirit whom our heavenly Father delights to give to His children, as the Lord taught us to pray (Luke 11:1-13). 20 Feb 2009
3. Resolved, instead of merely saying "I'll pray for you" whether to comfort you or with every intention to do so later, to pray for you right then, and to entrust you, your cares, my care for you, and my care for your cares to One who is able to do immeasurably more and to comfort far more abundantly than vain words and possibly forgotten promises to pray. 23 Sept 2009
4. Resolved, to endeavor to love those You call me to love, with a heart like the ocean, with a heart like Yours--wellspring of true love. Lord, do expand this puddle-like heart of mine. 15 Jan 2010
5. Resolved, to sing to the LORD a new song, for My Help and My Deliverer drew me up from the desert pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a solid rock, making my steps sure; He put a new song in my mouth and He will surely always renew the song of the redeemed. 28 Feb 2011
6. Resolved, as it is the only way to guard the heart, to run after the imperishable Reward and know its lasting joy. LORD You know that this last year I have chased the unrewarding and have known reserve, retreat, and regret; but You are able to keep me from stumbling and to present me blameless before the presence of Your glory with great joy. 8 Jun 2011
7. Resolved, to persevere in pleading for the souls I love, in trust that Your love and plans for my friends are exceedingly greater than my ambitions for them. In Your power to work immeasurably more than all I ask or imagine, and in frank recognition that You display this power in such a way that You will not share Your glory with another... Resolved, to pray for friends the miracle of conversion, especially for those who seem "impossible," as though it ever takes any less than a miracle. With You, all things are possible. 6 Nov 2011
8. Resolved, when tempted to give up laboring hope for someone's salvation or to count evangelism futile, to take heart--to remember my baptism and be grateful. Remember, once you were dead. Remember, you who once hated Him are now a trophy of his mercy. Remember Saul turned Paul. Forgetful heart, how can good news--and believing in it--be futile? 6 Nov 2011
9. Resolved, to sleep nightly, trusting Papa God to run the universe, lying down as one who is kept in safety by the One who in His goodness daily renews the work of creation. God wore us out with His goodness today! 3 Apr 2014
10. Resolved, to love fiercely but loosely: My friends are not my own. If ever I invest in friendship, to do so freely and charitably, not to buy or possess. If ever I embrace, to do so as to make space for, rather than engulf the other. I can love others, and forget myself, I can risk loss, because I am recollected by Love himself. 19 Jan 2015
11. Resolved, to ask our Father for any and all of my desires, even if they are ridiculous and petty and unrefined, to ask Him first. I can come to Abba's throne, as I am and not as I ought to be, to submit in confession the molten chaos of these longings and not harbor any ache or nurse any bitter lack. I don't need to nor can I censor myself, clean it up, or dress it up, I don't need to nor can I make myself and my requests more presentable a more acceptable offering. Just as I am, with all my pleas. 13 Jan 2016
12. Resolved, to make known these Spirit-filtered, distilled requests and needs, within loving friendships. To be aware of the boundaries of safety and self, to uphold wise limits, hold tension and frame, and then to express them once knowing, as clearly and humbly as possible. This is all part of spiritual dancing with immortal beings. 13 Jan 2016
13. Resolved, never to buy/own anything I am unwilling to loan. 5 May 2016
14. Resolved, to remember my worth and my unworthiness. I am worse and weaker than I dared admit, but through Christ I am more loved and accepted than I dared hope. 5 May 2016
15. Resolved, to resist delusions of lack, to refuse self-pity and despair. I will not nurse the untrue feelings, the imagined scarcity; I shall not want. Shepherd Spirit, if I spiral down that rabbit maze, come find me and restore me to gospel sanity. When all that I see and sense is distorted by pain and darkened by loss, Lord be my vision, soak your generosity deep into my bones; Lord, remove my delusions of lack. 21 Aug 2016
16. Resolved, not to make idols of icons. Heart, don't turn good things into ultimate things. I will fail at this a thousand times; a thousand times I will fall at clay feet. A thousand times, have mercy on me. Help me fall, fail, return to kiss and wash Your feet with the truest tears of repentance. 17 July 2017
