Monday, December 7, 2015

Anchoring Associations

(just jotting)

When you must dissociate to just survive
the molten chaos you normalize

Muscle through
Teeth grit grind

The bridge over molten chaos seems to require a bit of dissociation to cross.

Because of guh, I've never been friendless in the world. An anchor in reality - or at least the reality that the two of you inhabit together. Validation, perspective check. A compassionate witness that admits your feelings. They were present, engaged, kept their eyes and hearts open.

It helps to have friends who can feel/bear the outrage and heartbreak on your behalf - when you kinda have to swallow or at least normalize it just to get through it and still function.

Someone needs to grieve and recognize the injustice while you're muscling through. You can't afford to feel it all, the abyssal.

I don't want to repress anything.
Loosening grip?

Even when I can talk about what I'm dealing with, SHS says I'm usually pretty disconnected or intellectual about it. Can't afford to feel it all - dissociating a little bit seems necessary for survival. but the sympathy on someone else's face is hugely reorienting. especially in the effort to stay human and not go calloused, I guess.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall of witnesses.

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