Thursday, May 5, 2011

Ingrown Eyes

Took the hour to catch up and pray through current world events.

Since Japan quaked I have not cared to take in the world more than 140 characters at a time. It's scary and saddening to care and to know the things that change and the things that stay the same. It's scary to travel all around the world news and suddenly realize the whole world cannot outsize my innate claustrophobia. It's scary to admit that some of the scariness and insecurity is mercy over the megaphone of One God who warns that securities and futures are not ultimately to be laid up or found in all this world.

Heart, do not turn a blind eye to his loving warnings. Or do the ostrich thing and ignore all that is happening, or pretend/seek to be impervious to the world's breaking. For yet once more, He will shake the heavens and the earth. See, believe, proclaim.

I've never had a TV or used the radio since moving to NYC. And a year ago, I quit my International Studies major. Then my The Economist and FP subscriptions ran out this past winter. And the Times online was no longer no dolla when this spring came around. Then I became too entangled in a messy collision of past and present to let any other events but mine really occupy my shrinking heart.

Spiraling inward, consumed by the drama, harassed by sin, sickened by self, feeling sorry all around... Seeing my sickening vapid narcissism, I was slipping downward still, though plenty warned by another's. You'd think the more you introspect the more clearly you appear to yourself as you are.

But ingrown eyes can only see in distortions.

God the holy, inescapable Other so loved the world, He entered it.

And inviting the worldly to love Him back, He also gave us each other.

So that we could see clearly, and live.

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